Let me tell you something that’s been gnawing at me for weeks: the way football clubs handle pre-season friendlies feels increasingly like a performance art. Take Everton’s clash with Newcastle United in Edinburgh last week—it wasn’t just a match, it was a masterclass in how not to prepare for a Premier League campaign. And yet, somehow, this is the script we keep getting handed. Personally, I think the entire exercise is a farce, but let’s unpack why this particular game felt like watching a car crash through a rearview mirror.
David Moyes’ starting XI for that game? Let’s call it a 'curated disappointment.' Tarkowski, Keane, and Mykolenko in defense? That’s like putting a blindfold on a chess player and asking them to win the World Championship. I’ve watched enough football to know that when those three names appear together on a lineup sheet, the air immediately turns to concrete. What makes this particularly fascinating is how it reflects a deeper institutional inertia at Goodison Park. Moyes isn’t just playing safe—he’s playing terrified, like a man who’s spent 15 years avoiding accountability and finally realized the walls are closing in.
Now, let’s talk about Jarrad Branthwaite. The man’s been sidelined since May, yet here we are in August and he’s still not on the bench. This isn’t just poor planning; it’s a strategic decision to avoid risk at all costs. A detail that I find especially interesting is how the club’s official statement frames his absence as part of a 'planned reintegration programme.' That’s corporate speak for 'we’re too scared to trust him.' If you take a step back and think about it, this is the same mindset that allowed the club to hemorrhage £50m on players who’ve never set foot on the pitch. What this really suggests is that Everton’s hierarchy is more concerned with protecting their own egos than building a competitive team.
And then there’s the elephant in the room: the complete lack of faith in new signings. No Norgaard, no Johnson—two players who paid £40m between them and are now being treated like they’ve committed treason. This raises a deeper question: when did football become a game where you pay for talent but then punish it? I mean, Aznou’s omission from the squad was so egregious it made me want to throw my TV out the window. Why not give the guy 30 minutes at the end of the game? Or even start him? The fact that Moyes would rather play a 23-year-old who’s been on the bench for 18 months than a 24-year-old who’s been paying rent at Finch Farm is a indictment of modern football management.
What many people don’t realize is that these friendlies are becoming a cash grab disguised as preparation. The £5.99 subscription fee for streaming the match? That’s not just a revenue stream—it’s a way to keep fans engaged while the club avoids actually showing them what they’ve paid for. I’ve watched enough of these games to know the pattern: half the squad is on loan, half is injured, and the other half is just there to take up space. It’s like watching a reality TV show where the only drama is whether someone will get substituted before the 60th minute.
Looking ahead, I can’t help but wonder if this is the future of Premier League football. Clubs will keep spending millions on players, then hide them behind a curtain of 'tactical decisions' and 'rotation policies.' The fans will keep paying, the media will keep reporting, and no one will actually know what the hell is going on. What’s truly terrifying is that this might be the most sustainable model for clubs like Everton—because at least it keeps the money flowing. But if you ask me, the real story here isn’t the 0-0 draw in Edinburgh. It’s the fact that no one seems to care anymore.
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